Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Randomize
