Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
