thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
