I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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