I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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