His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
