so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
