does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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