two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
