marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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