Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
