I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
