i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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