it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
too bad you live with your parents still
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Randomize
