I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
