He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I have tasted many bathrooms
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize