The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
It's Friday. Sex?
now i know why i became what i already was.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
