When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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