my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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