You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
