Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
