Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize