Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
