Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize