im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize