Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
