just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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