My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
