a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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