I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize