I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
