i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize