her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
