Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
