4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
