Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
