GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize