Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
