I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
