so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize