if you like me you must not know who I am
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He felt like a one man threesome
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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