piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
only you would photoshop your dick
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
