The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize