i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
