I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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