if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
