i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
