youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
try to milk me bitch
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