none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
