windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
