i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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