how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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