Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
this is an emotional support booty call
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
