There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
