just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
a search helicopter?!
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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