our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
