I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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