Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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