I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
