Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
