So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
