Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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