I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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