My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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