i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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