My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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