He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
