we're chasing vodka with high fives
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
