Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just cut my nipple shaving
i wish my penis had a tongue
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
a search helicopter?!
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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