i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
