No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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