You were right. It hurts to walk today.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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