I bet he comes in French.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
