He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
