Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize